I'm not sure if this rambling is going to make sense, I had it all thought out this morning on the bus but I've been working all day and it's been mostly lost, so here goes:
I'm discovering as I get older that there are certain points in your life where you just have to kind of stop and think "Wow, my life will never be the same after this moment, it will forever be changed..." I suppose you could argue that this happens everyday, that your life changes forever after every moment you live it, but I find that there are times where it really hits you harder than most. Major events, deaths, births, these are all things that typically change you permanently and alter who you are...whether these changes are good or bad remain to be seen. But it can just floor you sometimes without you even realizing it. One moment you are living your life the way you always did, maybe for years at a time, and then all of a sudden, with a few words, one action, that can all be gone and it will never return. It makes you think that you have to seize every moment that you have and enjoy it because it could all of a sudden be gone, and you will have to re-adjust to another way of living, to how you think about yourself, your relationships, your life...Over the years I've had to let things go and adopt new ways, compromise and sacrfice, and luckily, it's always been worth it...but now as my life changes in even greater ways every coming year (or so it seems), I wonder how I will adjust, if I'll be able to accept how thing will have to be, to let go of some of the things and people I've held so dear for so long...habits are hard to change, and sometimes, so are relationships...but that's the point of life, isn't it? To change, to adapt, to live not always knowing how things will turn out, this is the challenge and the joy of being.
(Woah, that was a bit more philosophical than I would of liked, but oh well, I'm allowed, haha)